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Girl

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧ · 2 years ago

man this hits

A social media post from the subreddit r/teenagers with the title: 'Bruh yk what I want?' The post reads: 'Just to be lying down, arms around a girl not just cause she's hot or cute but cause I genuinely care about her and love her and she feels the same way. Just to be like holding her close and maybe stroking her hair. Maybe at one point giving her a soft kiss or two before she'd fall asleep into my arms so I could drift off too. Yes I am cuddle horny.'

Town

blach66 · 3 years ago

A four-panel image shows a man leaning into a car window asking a woman for a ride downtown. The woman replies that she won't give him a lift because she's looking for a one night stand.

Strike

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A sad looking Mario is sitting on a gray staircase. On top of the image, there is a list of situations, such as "When there's no strike in the counter," "when there's no battle on the front," "When the Ark doesn't survive," "When the mine doesn't craft," "When the titans aren't falling," "When the cause isn't just," "when the duty doesn't call," and "When the residents aren't evil."

Masturbation

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post from r/Kanye, labeled NSFW. The title asks, 'Is it still ethical to jiggle my johnson to Kanye songs?' The body text below is a 'DISCUSSION' post starting with 'A while ago, I discovered that certain Kanye songs caused me to become ithyphallic...' and continues with a lengthy description of the user's masturbation habits, influenced by Kanye West's music and recent controversies. It ends by asking for an alternative suggestion like 'Jordan Terrell Carter'.

Embarrassment

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

WTF is this?

A screenshot of a comment made by a user named 'muffjn' on a social media platform. The text of the comment reads, 'i was listening to mcr and my mom walked in so i switched the tab to gay porn cause thats less embarrasing'. The timestamp indicates the comment was posted on 18 Sep 2023.

Study

Wade · 2 years ago

“High Arousal”

The image displays text from a search result which reads: "What causes lucid dreams to happen? Later studies showed that lucid dreaming often occurs during moments of particularly high arousal or change in brain wave activity in the outer layer of the brain. Recognition of dreaming may occur specifically in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, where working memory, planning, and abstract reasoning occur." To the right is an illustration of two people: one standing in pajamas and another in bed, possibly dreaming.

Flu

RapBoat · 2 years ago

Chat is this real??

A tweet by Carti Fans with the handle @NeonCarti that says 'Playboi Carti predicted Covid-19'. The tweet includes a screenshot of text that reads 'In 2020 a flu-like disease that began in Wuhan, China (yuh) will cause a worldwide pandemic and shut down all major events for months (slatt) and cause major economic collapse (buh buh buh)'. Below it says 'PLAYBOI CARTI, "FOREIGN" GENIUS'. The picture features Playboi Carti with a peace sign.

Pussy

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

this convo is crazy

A screenshot of an online chat conversation between several users: Jake, amy, DonutDrawzz, leo, and Im With Stupid. The conversation begins with Jake making a shocking claim about seeing a person named Madi's private parts. The conversation then devolves into reactions and challenges from other users, culminating in a clarification by DonutDrawzz that Jake only saw 'cleavage'.

Friend

Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago

A woman smiles as if listening to something on her phone. The text reads: "When your friend makes a mean joke but you love it cause you're also evil."

Puppy

K!ttyy · 7 months ago

reddit ts

Video Game

JXSTR99 · 1 year ago

care to explain bitch? it seems thats what youre good at

The image shows a text box that contains the text "Explain Bear. Alright, listen up, you smoothbrain. You're here 'cause you don't know that Doom Eternal is a first-person shooter, not a driving game. There ain't no cars to customize, see? The image shows a search result mixin' up Doom Eternal with GTA. The car customization is a GTA thing. You got it? You just mixed up two different video games."

Rapper

TaylorSwiftBoat · 1 year ago

Bro how are my favorite rappers gonna make good music if they can’t pop PERKIES

A news article from The New York Times with the headline "E.P.A. Bans Cancer-Causing Chemicals Used in Dry Cleaning". The date is Dec. 9, 2024, 7:26 a.m. ET. It shows an image of a person working in a dry cleaning facility.

BFDI

Cahyani Ambara · 3 years ago

Me going crazy cause my enemy won a BFDI :

The image shows the text 'Firey: *wins BFDI*' followed by 'Coiny:'. Below that there is a drawing of Coiny, a coin character with a smile and small legs, moving from left to right.

Drip

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A two-panel image. In the first panel, a man shows off a diamond-studded watch. In the second panel, the same man takes a selfie in the mirror. The text above reads, "She called me Jewish cause she knows the drip Israel 100."

Guy

EnochTyr · 2 years ago

I know people like this, and by that I mean me.

The image shows text at the top that reads "me: rips up my drawing cause I messed it up". The text continues below the image that reads "the guy im tattooing:". Below this is an image of a startled-looking skull.

Smoking

𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘 · 3 years ago

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

The image is an infographic about the dangers of smoking. It lists many of the negative health effects of smoking. It states that within 10 seconds of a puff, toxic chemicals reach organs. Smoking harms most of the body, increases disease risk, and affects look, feel, finances and people close to you. Nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive and it releases dopamine. Nicotine dependence happens when the brain craves dopamine. Smoking is a major cause of cardiovascular disease, heart attack, and stroke. It increases the risk of blood clots. Some smokers have limbs amputated due to blood circulation problems. A graph lists the annual deaths caused by cigarette smoking in the United States between 2005-2009. It shows over 479,989 deaths. The causes include: lung cancer, ischemic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, other diagnoses, stroke, and other cancers. The stages of lung cancer are shown.

Autism

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A multi-panel meme. The top panel is a cartoon showing a sad baby elephant covered in numerous syringes. It has a speech bubble that says "I have autism". In the background, a woman sits on a couch while a man watches a television screen that displays the text "SCIENTISTS ARE MYSTIFIED AS TO WHAT IS CAUSING AUTISM". This panel is shared by "Kari Bundy - Health Activist". Below this, a comment from user "absurdist-void" reads: "you're laughing but i can't stop my autistic elephant son from shooting heroin while i'm trying to watch tv with my bitch wife".

Hawaii

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A Facebook post with three comments. The original post states, "The world ain't gonna end cause if it did the country Hawaii woulda sunk by now yall stupid." The first comment says, "Hawaii is a state". The second comment says, "no it a country its near Africa I think I know my economics ok". And the final comment says "did..did you even go to school.."

Writer

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A bearded man is writing in a notebook. Above him is text that says, "SCP writers writing an entry about a parking meter that causes the balls of everyone in a 200 meter radius to explode."

Cause

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

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