Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

kate✨

A confused cat is looking at the camera. The text says: "My cat confused why I'm stealing his poop, putting it in a bag and taking it into another room."

RhymeKing

A blue sign with white text warns, "DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW OUT TO FAR. IT MIGHT GO HOME IN ANOTHER CAR."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."

MEME LORD

Just roundhouse kicked another pregnant
muslim in the stomach, thank me later
llu8 bost
#bombdefused

Adolf kitler

A blurred image shows a black and white cat appearing to rotate rapidly. The text above the cat reads, "Just Caught My Cat Shifting Into Another Dimension."

Anonymous

An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."

ur momy

that one basic white bitch in school

The image shows a young, blonde woman wearing a yellow sweater, jean shorts, and pink sandals. She is holding a large, colorful drink with a straw. She stands outside on a stone path, with grass and small trees and bushes behind her. The text above the picture reads: "There's 50 of these basic white girls at school. Visual example below. And the other day I heard one of them say to another: 'Oh My GoSh, Ya, YoU do lOOk mExIcAn' keep in mind they are the most basic, white, blonde, girls you have ever seen. I almost started laughing."

Heroin Monkey

The text "The Gire" in blue is above a definition that reads, "When a man inserts a pocket pussy into another dude's asshole before having sex with him so it's not gay."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

Adolf kitler

A four-panel comic strip shows cats reacting to a new cat meme. The first panel shows one cat in front of a computer saying, "The humans have released another cat meme." The second panel shows a second cat responding with, "That's speciesism!" The third panel shows the first cat pointing to a box with two other cats in it saying "Look!" The last panel shows the cats in the box responding with, "Well, we do love boxes." and "Yeah."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows three panels depicting the evolution of Yamaha's products over time. In 1900, the company is producing pianos. By 1955, they are producing motorcycles. By 1960, they have added boats to their line of products.

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

♡𝓅𝒶𝓁

Two pictures of infomercial salesmen. The first is a man with a yellow cloth smiling. The second is a man with a box of baking soda pointing. The text of the meme talks about how one man's dislike of another was like the hate between two rappers.

BellaTrix

A person is depicted disintegrating into dust, with the text overlay "Another one bit the dust" at the top of the image.

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post by Donald Trump with the text "Stock market hits another high with spirit and enthusiasm so positive. Jobs outlook looking very good! #MAGA" accompanied by a picture with two furry cartoon characters and the text "FEMBOYS RULE". This is followed by another Twitter post by Donald Trump replying to the first post "I am terribly sorry that is the wrong photo".

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