Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Twitter thread by user 'ka vinki' (@jkavinsky). The first tweet says 'getting hit by a car kinda fun fr it feels like an action movie when u roll over the hood'. The second tweet is a reply to the first, stating 'driver was crying like she killed me or something relax'. The third tweet is another reply, saying 'nurse asked me to rate the pain 1 to 10 n i said 25 n started screaming i'm getting this morphine one way or another'.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a fake definition page for the skull emoji '💀' in slang. The title is 'Skull emoji in slang'. The definition states that the skull emoji in slang is a way to replace 'I'm a slutty Femboy' or 'Please fuck me with your big hard cock', commonly used by Femboys and very Lesbian women. It urges the reader to 'rid this world of "💀" users' and 'report any you find on the internet'. It then repeats '💀💀💀'. Below, it summarizes '💀 Skull emoji in slang meaning "please fuck me" or another scentence along the lines of "I'm a femboy"'. It is attributed 'by 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 December 31, 2022'. Below that are buttons indicating 2539 likes, 342 dislikes, and a flag option.

Heroin Monkey

An anonymous 4chan post from January 13, 2021, at 09:59:24 with the number 844740211. The post consists of a green text story:
"masturbating in bedroom", "about to cum", "dad comes running in naked screaming", "and here comes dad from left field!!", "he does a running jump", "lands asshole first on my dick", "penetration.png", "cum", "mfw he laughs and calls me a faggot for cuming in another guy". The post ends with "EVERY FUCKING TIME". To the left of the text is a drawing of Wojak pointing a gun at his head.

gyattohio

A man with an open mouth and wide eyes holds his hands on his head. The text above him says: "When bro expects to see 'cows' in my milk farm, but instead he sees 60 naked pregnant women with breast pumps attached and another 60 black mfs keeping them pregnant."

Willy b

Two dogs are standing on grass. A black dog has its head on the head of a white dog. The text reads "Another one" and "The dust".

Adolf kitler

A blurred image shows a black and white cat appearing to rotate rapidly. The text above the cat reads, "Just Caught My Cat Shifting Into Another Dimension."

Adolf kitler

A four-panel comic strip shows cats reacting to a new cat meme. The first panel shows one cat in front of a computer saying, "The humans have released another cat meme." The second panel shows a second cat responding with, "That's speciesism!" The third panel shows the first cat pointing to a box with two other cats in it saying "Look!" The last panel shows the cats in the box responding with, "Well, we do love boxes." and "Yeah."

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows Aragorn from the Lord of the Rings looking surprised. Above the image is the text "When Disney purchases LOTR" and below the image is the text "Somehow, Sauron has another ring."

Heroin Monkey

A survey asking how likely someone is to recommend Windows 10 to a friend or colleague with a scale from 1 to 5. The explanation provided below states that people don't usually recommend operating systems randomly in conversations. Below the survey is written: "THIS IS NOT TRUE. Have you ever seen a linux user?"

MEME LORD

Just roundhouse kicked another pregnant
muslim in the stomach, thank me later
llu8 bost
#bombdefused

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows three panels depicting the evolution of Yamaha's products over time. In 1900, the company is producing pianos. By 1955, they are producing motorcycles. By 1960, they have added boats to their line of products.

whizzingfizz

A black dog has its head over a white dog's head. The text on the image reads: "Another one" next to the black dog and "The dust" next to the white dog.

Anonymous

An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."

kate✨

A confused cat is looking at the camera. The text says: "My cat confused why I'm stealing his poop, putting it in a bag and taking it into another room."

rapboat

Two pictures of infomercial salesmen. The first is a man with a yellow cloth smiling. The second is a man with a box of baking soda pointing. The text of the meme talks about how one man's dislike of another was like the hate between two rappers.

RhymeKing

A blue sign with white text warns, "DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW OUT TO FAR. IT MIGHT GO HOME IN ANOTHER CAR."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a two-panel comparison. The top panel is a picture of a woman looking distressed with the text "Designers, when a company hires another designer" and "Am I not enough?". The bottom panel shows a picture of a chimpanzee with the text "Engineers, when company hires another engineer" and "Apes together strong."

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon drawing shows a person with a computer monitor for a head, displaying logos for Google Chrome, Facebook, and Amazon, speaking to another person. The text says "I see you recently bought a lawnmower. Can I interest you in another lawnmower?"

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