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Unemployment

Shitpost master-general · 9 months ago

Syrupy

An illustration of the anime character Megumin from KonoSuba looking surprised with a black choker around her neck. The text overlay reads, "UNEMPLOYED BUT HER FEET GIVING ME A JOB."

Columbine

Cosmic · 10 months ago

Good Ending

A split image featuring Dylan Klebold on the left, grinning widely with a distorted face, and Eric Harris on the right, smiling in a green collared shirt. White text overlaid on the image reads: "JUST KIDDING BRO COLUMBINE SHOOTING? LETS PLAY SOME DOOM!" Below the image, against a black background, the text reads: "GOOD ENDING."

Steal

Willy b · 11 months ago

A red-armored Space Marine from Warhammer 40,000 is shown holding a bolter. Above him, the letters "S.T.E.A.L." are prominently displayed. Below him, the text clarifies: "(Strategic Transfer of Equipment to Alternate Locations)."

Masturbation

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post from r/Kanye, labeled NSFW. The title asks, 'Is it still ethical to jiggle my johnson to Kanye songs?' The body text below is a 'DISCUSSION' post starting with 'A while ago, I discovered that certain Kanye songs caused me to become ithyphallic...' and continues with a lengthy description of the user's masturbation habits, influenced by Kanye West's music and recent controversies. It ends by asking for an alternative suggestion like 'Jordan Terrell Carter'.

Place

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A screenshot of the Wikipedia page for Goochland, Virginia. It includes a photograph of the Goochland County Courthouse, a map showing the location of Goochland in Virginia, and information about the area's geography and population.

Fuel

gyattrizz · 1 year ago

A tweet that says "garfields cum can be used as an alternative fuel if you consider my asshole a vehicle."

Meth

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A picture shows a chart advertising crystals for negativity, but someone edited the picture, adding a pile of meth in the middle and the word "meth" at the bottom.

Nicotine

MEME LORD · 1 year ago

A sign on a clipboard reads "Suck dick" above a crossed-out image of a vape pen, and the words "NOT NIC!" appear below.

Skeleton

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image has two panels. The upper panel shows a skeleton in a car. The text above the image says, "Can we listen to something besides 'spooky scary skeletons'?" The lower panel shows a dark SUV with an open door and a woman falling out.

Argument

Iluvhampsters :3 · 2 years ago

que?

A black and white image of a person in the water. The text above the person reads "when you are losing an argument online so you make an alt account to try and sway the balance."

Condom

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows text stating "I ran out of condoms and lube. But, no worries, I've got back up." Above the "But, no worries" line, there is an image of lube and condoms, and below it, there are images of Ziploc bags, rubber bands, and WD-40.

Microwave

Swf · 2 years ago

The image shows a Minecraft landscape filled with red rocks and a body of water. There are several blocks of TNT laid out in the foreground. The text overlay reads "My microwave stopped working, time to use my pc to cook some beef."

Tea

♢ Shy Dragon ♢ · 2 years ago

☕️

A Google search bar shows the query "Should I kill someone, or have a cup of tea?" The "Did you mean" suggestion is "Should I kill someone, and have a cup of tea?" Below this is the text "Ah, yes, my mistake. Thank you." and an image of a person sipping tea next to a British flag.

Brain

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧ · 3 years ago

😔

A table titled "Evolving From Violent Language" with two columns. The left column, under the heading "Instead Of", lists phrases with the word "concussion" in them. The right column, under "Say This," offers alternative silly phrases.

Tongue

LazyBoiiii · 3 years ago

A pink, fluffy creature with a long tongue is shown in front of a machine with a keyboard. The creature's tongue is extended and touching a button on the keyboard. The text above the creature says, "SCREW LIMBS!" and below, "I'LL USE MY TONGUE!". The display of the machine shows "GELA".

Masturbation

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Why have I not seen these posters in my neighbourhood?

A poster on a wooden pole reads "Pleasuring yourself with a vape? Try masturbation instead. Masturbation alone or with a friend is a great safe alternative to vaping." There is also a website "WhatsInAVape.com" and "THE REAL COST" on the poster.

Response

⭐️🌙✨SUNNA AHMAD✨🌙⭐️ · 3 years ago

How to say “I love you” be like :

The image shows six different cartoon characters and their alternative responses to the phrase "I love you". The first character, a yellow X, says "Thanks". The second character, a blue 4, is laughing nervously. The third character, a green 2, says "Who doesn't?". The fourth character, a gray 8, says "Why?". The fifth character, a black 7, says "YEET". The sixth character, a blue 6, says "A horrible decision, really."

Gun

GG Miller · 3 years ago

only if i had a gun DAMN

A cartoon minion character wearing a gray hoodie and holding two guns, with the text "LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE. IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, LOAD, AIM AND FIRE."