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Confession

Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

Youtube

United Kingdom UK · 7 months ago

Cat

Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

Mreow meow meow meow :3

A screenshot of a tweet by sloane quoting another tweet by Punch Cat. The original tweet displays two side-by-side images of a grey tabby cat sitting at a desk next to a laptop. In the left image, titled "apple", the cat is resting its chin on a large red apple. In the right image, titled "nothing", the cat is in the same pose but there is no apple. sloane's commentary reads: "notice he is content both with and without apple. a lot to learn here".

Tech

Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet from David J Phillips (@davj). The text describes his financial journey over 5 years: Year 1 - $65K (1st job); Year 2 - $72K (asked for raise); Year 3 - $137K (switched jobs); Year 4 - $35.67M (lawsuit payout from Google commuter bus hitting me); Year 5 - $146K (promotion).

Version

Anonymous · 8 months ago

A four-panel meme using the "You Guys Are Getting Paid?" template. The characters' faces are replaced with heads of animatronics from Five Nights at Freddy's. Panel 1 shows the Puppet saying "I CAN EXPLAIN". Panel 2 shows Balloon Boy saying "YOU EXIST IN 5 DIFFERENT VERSIONS WHILE I HAVE ONLY 3". Panel 3 shows Mr. Hippo saying "3? I ONLY HAVE ONE". Panel 4 shows a boy labeled "PHANTOM BONNIE" asking "YOU GUYS EXIST?"

ID

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image is composed of three frames. The first shows a police officer asking a driver "CAN I SEE YOUR I.D.?". The driver is replying "NO SIR. I'M shidding". The second frame shows a man looking angry with the text "AS IN DEFECATING THROUGH A SUNROOF". The last frame shows a yellow car, with three circled faces superimposed: Two of them are over the roof and the one in the bottom right is on the street. The text at the bottom says "DEFECATE".

Girlfriend

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

my girlfriend (she's shy)

Slot

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

the side chick (4 slots is more fun than one)

A four-slot toaster with two sets of controls. The toaster is silver with white accents and is placed on a white background.

Prank

KillingButterflys · 9 months ago

tf..

The meme features a close-up image of Squidward from SpongeBob SquarePants. He has bloodshot eyes, a dazed expression, and looks completely overwhelmed and high. The text above him reads, '3 year olds when you tell them you got their nose.'

Topic

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A line graph compares the search interest over time for Google Classroom and ChatGPT. ChatGPT (red line) has higher interest than Google Classroom (blue line).

Rapper

period boo · 3 years ago

best rapper of all time

A portrait of a man with dreadlocks, wearing a studded black jacket and several pearl necklaces, in front of a pink sunset background with butterflies and a field of flowers.

Kid

Daddy dick · 3 years ago

This is my Kid <3

A baby with an adult face sits on a bed. Text on the image says, "Scary, right?" There is also a small URL at the bottom, "www.FunnyVooz.com".

Face reveal

Daddy dick · 3 years ago

Face reveal <3

A photo shows a person with a dark baseball cap and dark hair, wearing a light blue shirt. The person is smiling with a gap in his teeth. The background is an orange wall.

Wife

DADDY sus aka the king · 3 years ago

my wife<3

A woman with dark hair and prominent teeth, the text 'thechive.com' is shown on the bottom right corner.

Post

Ruv_Fnf_Simp7256 · 3 years ago

Ill face rev if this post gets at least 6 comments

A digital drawing shows two cartoon characters sitting side-by-side on a pink bench. The character on the left has pink hair and is leaning to kiss the other character. The other character has gray hair and is looking embarrassed. There are two little white cartoon steam clouds above his head. Above the pink-haired character is the word 'chu' with a heart.

Foam

Your local comrade · 1 year ago

A repost to celebrate: Happy Mario Day! Take a break and read your favorite chapter from the Communist Manifesto.

Cartoon image of Mario with the superimposed text "When the fire extinguisher said it lasts for 3-5 years, but you drink all the foam in 37 minutes. I have achieved unlimited speed... but nowhere to put it."

Grade

Nico Di Anglo · 1 year ago

...

The image shows white text on a black background. The text asks why Percy's grades are not good at school, and the answer is because they are below "C Level." The text then says "Don't like my puns? My apollo-gees <3".

Rapper

TaylorSwiftBoat · 2 years ago

A tweet saying "Chance the rapper dropped 'The Big Day' And America responded by having 3 straight mass shootings."

Face reveal

mndfkjnasksggf · 3 years ago

Face reveal <3

A close-up of a person's face with their fingers pulling the skin around their eyes, making the eyes look unusually wide and distorted. The person's nose and mouth are also distorted due to the stretching of the skin. The text on the image says "Face reveal <3".

Baby

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot from a YouTube video shows a man holding a white plush animal with a red arrow pointing at it and a cartoon of a female Freddy Fazbear next to him. The title of the video is "ME AND FREDDY FAZBEAR HAD A BABY!!! *MEET OUR BABY*."

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