Meeting jokes
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.
Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.
Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.
The end.
"Chairing is caring, folks!"
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
What do emos do when they meet up?
They hang out.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"
And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time… and walk past.
Like if you meet someone emo.