I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
Any food an orphan has is a family-sized meal.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Eating a clock is so time-consuming.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
Sandwiches are yummy! đ
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?
Orph-Donald's.
Why did Draven eat curry?
I don't know, ask him.
Dravenă
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
