Meal jokes
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
Any food an orphan has is a family-sized meal.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Eating a clock is so time-consuming.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)