Mask

Mask Jokes

Batman

Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?

So the police can see that he’s white.

Grandma

What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?

"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"

COVID-19

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

Patient

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Covid19

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

Face

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Surgery

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

Mama

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

Supermarket

They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

Mama

Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.

Batman

Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.

Fetish

A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"

Halloween

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

Rapist

How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?

He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.

Emo kid

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

Halloween

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

Michael

Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.