New Mask Jokes

What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?

"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.

They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.

Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.

A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.

Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.

How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?

He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.