Martial jokes

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?

Punchlines.

Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."

Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.

I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.

I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.