Laundering jokes

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.