A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, "just shut up and swallow"
Celebrate-By- watersharky Productions and Pitbull- Mr. Worldwide Let's celebrate I just wanna celebrate I just wanna celebrate Tonight we're making history I just wanna celebrate We've been around the world, same song Work hard, play hard, all day long All the continents get jealous over me You can see me 3D overseas If you know me then you know where to find me Off in the Bahamas with a bad one behind me Now live it up, live it up, live it up Baby pick it up, pick it up, pick it up And we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate I just wanna celebrate Tonight we're making history I just wanna celebrate Turn it up Turn it up I've been patiently waiting for you to shake and shake it Make it or take it The point is we made it Courted by the game, call us Tom Brady And it's not our fault that we have all the ladies But it's hard to see these ladies when your middle name's Equator All around the globe, matter fact see your later They're great, we're great at world war, dominators And we're also some smooth operators, and we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom That's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate I just wanna celebrate Tonight we're making history I just wanna celebrate Turn it up Turn it up Live it up (Live it up), don't let life live you (Live you) It's a good time (Good time), so we give you (Give you) Now live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up What you wanna do? I just wanna celebrate I just wanna celebrate Tonight we're making history I just wanna celebrate Turn it up Let's celebrate Turn it up Let's celebrate
Conversation between a little baby and a lady👇
👱LADY=hi 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=wot is ur name 💂LIT.BABY=no reply 👱LADY=hw old at u 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=wot is ur mom's name 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=wot about ur dad 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=can u spell ur name 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY= can you spell GOD 💂LIT.BABY=(spelling) G.O.D if a little baby can spell GOD,wot about you. Just spend some minutes and type "GOD" if know u will sleep and wake up tomorrow by GOD's grace,ignore if u are living by power MINE:GOD 😃
Knock knock who is there old lady old lady who?
I DID NOT KNOW YOU CAN YOLDL
there was a kid at school he was reading a book and he came across a phrase it was purple pation he went to his teacher and asked what it ment his teacher said hat the actual hell get the hell out of my class and go to the princible offic the princible said its ok iwas probably a mistake i will clean this all up in the mean time whats the phrase he says purple pation his prncible stares at him for about 3 seconds then says get the hell out of my school u r expelled he ran 7 miles to his dads offic crying all the way he went to his dad and explained how hs teacher kicked him out of the class and the princable expelled him his dad said calm down i will clean this all up and he said thats what the princable said he said i will clean it up he said ok the phrase is purple pation hisdad said i hate u getout of myoffice i dont want to see u again he ran down crying to his house he explained what happened his mom said the same thing as everyone else so he explaines the phrase his moms kickes him out of the house and he ran down to the park crying a old lady said whats wrong he explained whats happening then she says wellwhats the phrase he says purplepation the old lady said see that house across the street thats my house come over in about 30 min and i will explain he says thank u it was the longest 30 min of his life he sprints across the street and gets hit by a bus sorry guys ;)
i need a lovely lady to spoil i have a big dick and a very clean house add me now
snapchat: @colin_green21
A woman goes to buy a parrot There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks she asks why the last one is so cheap The man at the counter say "It used to live in a brothel/sex house" The lady buys it anyway When she gets home it say fuck me a new brothel when her daughters get home it says fuck me 2 new prozzies when the father gets home the parrot says fuck me daryl, havent see you in the brothel in weeks
so this blind man was walking down the street with his stick right. and he walked passed this fish market, he took a deep breath and said " WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES"
Don't Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt
You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my V8 engine with the windows tinted Boy, we came from the bottom, got it out the mud Whole block jumpin' 'cause the subs stay hittin' If they roll up on me, know I keep one tucked (ooh, yeah) Woo Tell them boys come and get me I be ridin' through the city Young, rich and I'm pretty Homie, don't get it twisted Keep a semi in the hemi (oh) Red cup full of Henny My hitters come in plenties, for real You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my Wood grain dash with the matte black finish And it match my shawty with the big ol' butt Know them boys soft 'cause they got hard feelings You can try me if you wanna go and test your luck (woo) Tell them boys come and get me (get me) I be ridin' through the city Young, rich and I'm pretty (yeah) Homie, don't get it twisted (yeah) Keep a semi in the hemi (in the hemi) Red cup full of Henny (yeah, we drinking) My hitters come in plenties, for real You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my Woo, ooh, woo, ooh, woo, ooh Don't touch my truck (woo, ooh) Don't touch my truck
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?". The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster", it'll go faster, "harder", it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hostpital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
What did the lady say to michael jackson at the beach? Excuse me, your in my sun(son)
A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady "WOOW SHES HOT." HE picks her up and pee;s on her and says Hi lady lets have sex.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me. But I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheel chair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically ot will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guys says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
Here are a few:
While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said "Sorry! It's been awhile since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope!
Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Im a lady so im a man
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old ladies house...
Oh my! Goodness sakes child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both
i was watching my son play at the park and a lady asked me. "which one is yours" and for fun i said "i don't know i'm still choosing".
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes. So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady. Like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
A girl named Kariah was at a night club, she was twerking and shaking but she was just there for fun with her friends will untill some guy name Jaden came up to her and started flirting with her. Jaden: WOW Girl! Kariah: What? Jaden: Its just that a sexy girl like you should be haveing sex not begging for sex! Kariah: Okay listen pimp I don't know who you are but I don't want you around me one bit! Jaden grabbed her hips with such FORCE! Jaden: Come on lets go somewhere...priviet! and have a good time a fun time! Kariah slaped him and left the night club telling her friends she was gone. Leaving a tip for the drinks she bought. Daina: Hey whats wrong? Mary: Yeah! Greg: Sweetie...tell us. Ariana: Come on...did some one try to touch you in a weird way?! Kariah wanted to tell them but couldn't it was to personal. Kariah: Uh I have to go...its way passed my curfew! Love you! Kariah sighed, and waited for a cab down by Heyo street. Then a cab man started dirty talking her...DIRTY! Cab man: Hey, sexy lady! where are you going?...need a...wow...whoohoo...dang...ride? Kariah rolled her eyes then stuck her tongue out at the cab man. This fucking cab men said this. Cab man: Ooooo...use that for the sex! Kariah: I don't think so! Cab man: ha uh ha... I see the way your looking at me I know you like me! Kariah walks away from him and finds another cab but the cab man did not take her mean talk and weird silents for an answer. instead the cab man got out of is "Cab" and harrowed around her. Cab man: HEY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING!?Kariah: TO MY KIDS AND MY HUSBAN! SO GET LOST BITCH!!!! You see Kariah was married, she just came to be with her friends at a night club. Cab man gets close to her so she ran...she ran as fast as she could till she triped on her high heels, once the cab man got close to her he picked her up...I think you know what he did okay I'll tell you. Cab man picked her up and took her back to the cab a.k.a taxi of course she was not gonna give up without a fight...will she gave up! Cab man: I know ya like me! I just know it! You dressed up in a hoochie and sluty dress for nothing will wrong you LIKE ME maybe love if we get lucky! He drove her to his house and then took off is cloths "underware included" got on top of her and "Rape was born again". Kariah did not remember a thing that night only that she was forced agianst her will too will have "S.E.X"
