Kick

Kick jokes

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.

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    • Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!

    Mom: Son, did you go to school?

    Son: What if I said yes?

    Mom: You are in school! *slap*

    Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.

    Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(

    Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.

    Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!

    Son: Good.

    Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?

    If you like it, please commit down.

    Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.

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    • I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.

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    • A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

    I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

    Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

    Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

    Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

    Me: You can't kick me out.

    Manager: Why not? Huh?

    Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

    A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.

    When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.

    A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.

    The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.

    Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?

    Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

    So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

    One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

    I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.

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    • Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.