Johnson jokes
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Your hairline is so far back even The Rock Johnson couldn't find it.
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
Why can't an orphan go to S. C. Johnson?
Because it's family owned.
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it’s a family company.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.