John Wilkes jokes
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.