Imaginary friend jokes
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
Community talk
Shut up boy you look like a velociraptor in a clogged toilet bowl! Bruh you look like an off brand Ben 10 character! Nah you ain’t Ben 10 you Steven 9! Get yo ass back boy, you look like you got expelled for barking at yo lunch lady! Shut yo ass up boy, you ain’t from Jurassic Park, you came from the prehistoric playground! Get yo ass out boy you like Clifford the big red dog’s fossil! Boy what are you talking about … Read more
Shut up boy you look like a velociraptor in a clogged toilet bowl! Bruh you look like an off brand Ben 10 character! Nah you ain’t Ben 10 you Steven 9! Get yo ass back boy, you look like you got expelled for barking at yo lunch lady! Shut yo ass up boy, you ain’t from Jurassic Park, you came from the prehistoric playground! Get yo ass out boy you like Clifford the big red dog’s fossil! Boy what are you talking about … Read more