I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.
I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was, like, with one, and she kept on saying, "I'm too young."
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
im njdjfnjdjdj hello
me haha im the joke
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
You know IM GAY! IM GAY! Im really really GAY
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!
