How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
