Howe jokes

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

  • 3

    • My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

    I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

    I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

    Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?

    A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.

  • 0

    • How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

    Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

    A man walks in to the doctor.

    He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."

    Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!

    Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.

    A teacher asked his students a math question.

    "You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

    After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

    "One dollar!" she said.

  • 3

    • How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.

    Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).

    Student: How should I know, that's his story?

    Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

    Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

  • 3