Howe jokes
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a school buzz.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨‍🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.