Household Items jokes

My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.

So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.

Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.

Who do Chinese people name their kids?

Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.