HI jokes

Hi izz.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where is my tractor?"

Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?

Pretty nuts, huh?

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.

Hi, hello, hello, hello.

My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!

Hi, son.

Why'd my grandpa fall over?

'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!

My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his 4G ran out!

Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.

"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"

My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.

What did the glove say to his girlfriend?

I glove you!

Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?

A: He believes in the second cumming.

One day a son and his grandad were smoking.

Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)

Why did the orphan kill himself?