New HI Jokes - Page 108 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?

He couldn't find the home button.

So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?

If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the chin.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

This is the true worst joke ever:

What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?

Hi!

Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?

The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.

How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

His dick tastes funny...

Hi, I did not get your email address. I sent you a...

What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?

A quarterback.

What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?

"Bye son!"

Get it? Bye son, Bison!

Person one: What did the DJ name his son?

Person two: IDK, what?

Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).

What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.

Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.

One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"