HI jokes
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.
A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡. What was the best game I’ve [played]?
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂