Head jokes

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?

Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?

It goes right over their head.

What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?

Shot in the head.

Violets are blue, roses are red.

Last night your mom was giving me head.

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

Why did the dick go insane?

Someone kept messing with his head.

My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?

She doesn't eat pigs.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?

A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.

You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.