Have jokes
Why can't an orphan have an iPhone?
It has a home button.
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
Why do orphans always have an iPhone X or above?
So they don’t have a home button. 🤙🏼
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "Daddy."
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Why can't orphans become YouTubers?
They don't have electricity!
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
Have you heard of China...
China fit this dick in your mouth.
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
Why can't orphans go to Home Depot?
Because they do not have a home!
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.