Go jokes
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Did you leave your hairline at the airplane, because it's going up?
You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.
I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.
Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"
Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?
What is going on here?
Breakfast! 😂
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?