I love eating pussy that’s why the animal shelter is always my go to for a good meal
Guy goes into the gas station says I need a box of rubbers with pesticide. The cashier said pesticide don't you mean spermicide? The guy says no! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week and I am going to kill it.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to to stand up for himself
I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.
yo hairline so ugly when u go to school u fall on a line
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
if a fat person would go on a flying car it will just be at the ground when they out it will justfly up
Jake: can I go outside Mom: did you clean your room Jake: No Mom: Then f*ck no Jake: alright bet (Brother named no)
I would go suck some titties but I’d rather die from being shot then cancer
I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion. But her joke was crap.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code.
your forehead and your hairline must be great freinds cuz they go way back
What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot OsamaBin Laden between the eyes? go to HELLakbar
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
All you pro life christian motherfuckers can go die lol
we gotta keep it goin ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一
Go Touch some grass bro
Where did George go to? Washington DC.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly. I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking but she said she didn't want any. When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
