Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
Give Jokes
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
Give me the most likes on this site.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
