Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."
Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."
Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
