Forest

Forest Jokes

Tree

I speak for the trees.

*Trees whisper in my ear*

They said six million wasn't enough.

Cheetah

Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!

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  • Bigfoot

    So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

    One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

    He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

    Gravestone

    I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.

    Son: Where's grandma?

    Hacker

    I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

    Hunter

    Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.

    Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"

    Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."

    Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."

    *Operator hears a distant gunshot*

    Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"

    Cat

    So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.

    One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.

    Lumberjack

    A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

    Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

    Tree

    Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!

    Tree

    What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."

    Bear

    A bear is like your best mate, Harry.

    If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.

    Man

    A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

    She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

    The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"