Fingertip jokes
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.
The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
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