Famous jokes

Wanna hear some famous last words?

"We are just experiencing some turbulence."

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?

Because she blew up.

The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I'm famous!

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.