Education jokes
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Click the 👍 if you hate school.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?
Why does the emo kid skip class?
Like if you hate going to school.
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
The teacher fainted.