Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
How is everyone? I just started school. Sixth grade, yeah!
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
What is yellow and canβt swim?
A school bus full of children.
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?
A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.
Why can't a orphan go to school? They have no one to sign the parent signature.
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
