Education jokes
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Click the đ if you hate school.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, câmon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think youâre dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad youâre standing alone.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh câmon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think youâre dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad youâre standing alone.
Whatâs the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher canât give you homework.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?
Why does the emo kid skip class?
Like if you hate going to school.
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, âMolly, who created Heaven and Earth?â
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
âJesus Christ almighty!â shouts Molly.
âCorrect,â says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, âMolly, who created Heaven and Earth?â
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jackâs pencil.
âJesus Christ almighty!â she shouts.
âCorrect again,â says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, âWhat did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?â
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams âIf you stick that thing in me one more time Iâm going to crack it in half!â
The teacher fainted.
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!