Ed Sheeran jokes

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

What is an Emo’s favourite music element?

Self harmony.

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.