Drug Use Jokes

Unplanned pregnancy

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.

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  • Marijuana

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

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  • Crack

    One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

    Stoner

    What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

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  • Marijuana

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

    Memes

    Marijuana

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.

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  • Friend

    Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.

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  • Hispanic

    Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?

    A: Stoners have papers.

    Jack and Jill

    Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.

    Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"

    Marijuana

    THIS IS A RHYME

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

    Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.

    Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,

    and they had a little fun.

    Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.

    Marijuana

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

    Meth

    White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?

    Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!

    Jack

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.

    Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.

    Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.

    Marijuana

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "Yes," and lifted up her dress. Then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

    Jack and Jill

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.

    Vagina

    Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.