New DoS Jokes - Page 39 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.

And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.

What do you call crabs that do not share their food?

They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ

A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?

Goddammit, Jamal!

How do s’mores communicate?

On Insta-graham.

Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?

They don't have water.

How do you make a mime cry?

You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.

What do you call an American house?

A gun safe.

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."