DoS jokes
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?
Except at a funeral.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
Spider-Man: No Way Home
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What do you call AG?
A beta male.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.