DoS jokes
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Answer: Special forces.
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
What kind of work from school can't orphans do?
Homework!
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."
- Captain Jack Sparrow
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?
Touch base.
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.