DoS jokes
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans!"
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
How do you get away with murder?
How do you get away with rape?
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?
Because they're home alone themselves!
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.