DoS jokes
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
When red do be sus, though.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do 9/11 and 911 have in common?
They're twins.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
"Sum ting wong."
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
Why do orphans get iPhones 11?
Because it has no home page.
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.