Do jokes
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Memes
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.