Divine

Divine Jokes

Alligator

[god creating alligators]

God: See that log?

Angel: Yes...?

God: Now fill it with teeth.

Angel: Say again?

God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!

Woman

When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"

Cat

God creating cats.

GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.

ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?

GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!

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  • Elephant

    God: (creating elephants) Make it big.

    Angel: How big?

    God: As big as my d--

    Angel: Whoa!

    God: Fine, 10 feet tall.

    Angel: That's big bu--

    God: Put a long thing on its face.

    Match

    Hey God, what are you making?

    Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.

    Sounds like a match made in heaven.

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  • Bee

    God creating bees.

    God: "Put a needle on their butt."

    Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"

    God: "Make its puke delicious."

    Angel: "WTF"

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  • Day

    After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"

    God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

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