Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
