Dis jokes

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"

Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.

BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA

ALAKBAR

Sad news, my obese parrot died today.

Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

Boo Boo Doo.

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?

Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.

A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.

His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

My great uncle died in a concentration camp.

He fell off one of the guard towers.

I'm dying... sike, I lied. You thought I died!

My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.

Ammon died.

What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?

Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.