Despair jokes
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
What kills you?
Suicide.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!