What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die.
"After you're dead, you'll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families."
This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio.
"There is one small favor I can offer you," the chief went on. "We'll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers."
Some of the tribal members begin walking by, displaying various implements of war and death.
The first explorer chose a crusty-looking musket. Thankfully, the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss.
The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat.
Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen.
The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought.
After a few moments, the chieftain said, "There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I'll decide for yo..."
"Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?" the explorer interrupted?
Baffled, the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink.
When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler's Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear.
Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink.
Confused, the chief began to speak, "I'm afraid we have no paper, and even if you wrote a final letter, we'd have no way of sending it anywh..."
Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso, nib first, again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle.
Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word.
"But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?" the chief asked.
Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief's ear, "You'll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!"
