I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
