Conquest jokes

Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?

Alexander the Grape.

The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.

Why is the USA bad at Clash Royale? 'Cause they already lost two towers.

Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Cause they already lost two towers.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.

The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.

The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.

And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"