Classroom

Classroom jokes

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Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

  • 6

    • Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor

    Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

    Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

    “Under my bench,” he replies.

    Teacher: This assignment is big.

    Student (male): I have something that's big.

    Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.

    A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”

    Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”

    The teacher faints.

    The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

    The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

    The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

    The students said, "Your parents."

    The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

    If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

    I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

    I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

    An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."

    Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?

    Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.

    Student: Ok!!

    Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?

    Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.

    Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.

    Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.

    Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"

    Professor: "Oui oui."

    Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"

    So, Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's. So he goes home and asks his mom, who's cooking, "What's the first letter of the ABC's?" He asks, and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!"

    So then he walks to his sister, who's singing in the shower, and asks her, "What's the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" She responds with "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" Then he walks over to his brother, who's watching Batman, and asks, "What's the 3rd letter of the ABC's?" and his brother responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then he proceeds to walk to his dad, who's watching football, and asks, "Dad, what's the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" Then he walks to his grandma, who's cooking buns, and asks her, "What's the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" Then Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day, and the teacher says to her class, "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's?" Johnny, of course, raises his hand, and the teacher calls on him. Then he says, "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" Then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says, "Young man, are you ready to go to the principal's office?" Then he proceeds to say, "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principal's office. Then she says, "What's your name, son?" He responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then the principal asks, "How many spankin's, boy?!" He responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" and after that, he runs out of the principal's office while yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"

    In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

    One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

  • 7

    • Dumb kid: What does homework mean?

    Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?

    Me:

    "Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"