if being sexy were a crime you better lock me up. not because I'm sexy but because I have 5 dead children in my basement
I was kicked out of a orphanage kitchen because I yelled hurry up some of us have homes to get back to.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage
God when terminally ill children beg him to heal them
God: No, I don’t want to
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreck havoc on preschool
Why do the Chinese children don't believe in Santa? Because they're the ones making the toys.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants? Michael Jackson's lipstick.
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
What Animal has 5 Legs?
An Pitbull on an Children Playground
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children? None. Neither can see their parents
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common? Are you ready kids?
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the home page.