Check Jokes

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

2. You can't count your hair.

3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

4. You just tried number three.

5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.

6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.

7. You skipped number 5.

8. You just checked if there was a number 5.

9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.

Uranus caught a 3metre flatty while surfing . Check the tail still kicking. Deadly my bruss!

when you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders

So i saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, what are you doing?

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: that sounds pretty SIMPle.

What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper? Hey check me out I'm on a roll! 😂😂🤭🤭

What did the butt say to the other butt? I got big fat apples for bleep checks

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To check in his flat mate.

You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded, what is the first thing you do? Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.

So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... So I pushed her over

What do birds use to check their grades? Air-ies... -/-/

kid:goes to the kitchen mom:what are you doing here? kid : just checking out the knife mom:so you've chosen death

So, one day I was walking home from school with my best friend, Sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that Bob, the class rep, got her pregnant eight months ago, and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said, “Sally, it’ll be okay, I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson.” “Yeah, thanks, Suzy,” she said to me, then went into her house.

The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school, so I was like, oh, she must be in trouble with her mom. I’ll go check on her.

So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands. “Oh, hello. Is that Sally’s son?!! Can I see Sally?” Her mom says sure, and I go inside, but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone. “Here lies Sally 2004-2020.” So I ask her mom in tears, “Oh, did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied, “You could say that...”

Person A:Hey,what's the next subject? Person B:Let me check. Person B:It's greenglish!

A old lady told me to check her balance so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check so I died to help her

*A man walks into a library* Man: Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide? Librarian: Do you know about our return policy? Suicidal Man: ... Librarian: ... The Woman checking out a book: WHAT THE FUCK?

johny sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop

and found that in all the videos his father is.....

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers? Me: No, but i`ll arm wrestle you for the check.

why did the doctor check out earth? he had a tummy quake

A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said “ Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.” The lady asks, “Am I pregnant? “. To which the Doctor replied “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

10 Fun Facts.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)