Causality jokes
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
What came first: the chicken or the egg?
Doesn't matter, in the future, they'll come together.
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.